Meghan Markle’s charisma is something I often wondered about. She does everything that you think would be considered the actions of a charismatic person, yet every day, my social media feed is filled with people who find her unbearable, inauthentic, and unlikable. Her recent performance on The Jamie Kern Limba Show has exposed the real reason why she has failed to win the hearts of the public, and it’s down to her charisma.
You can watch the interview yourself and make your own judgement on Meghan Markle’s charisma. Or I should say “the Duchess of Sussex”?
Why Meghan Markle’s Charisma Makes Her Unlikable
I am not here to judge politics or gossip, as a charisma coach, I am just breaking down the communication and non-verbal cues she does that make her unlikable:
- Fake Smile
- Overpolished Speech
- Moral Grandstanding
Fake Smile
Humans are very good lie detectors; we can tell when something is not right. The smile that someone shows us is a key factor in the charisma component of ‘warmth’. We look at their smile and we can tell when it is forced. One criticism of Meghan Markle’s Charisma is that she looks cold when she smiles; it is very forced, which is why the public gets that sense of inauthenticity.
Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, found that **Duchenne smiles** are one of the most influential facial expressions. A Duchenne smile is the one that reaches your eyes, making the corners wrinkle up with crow’s feet. It’s the smile most of us recognise as the most authentic expression of happiness.
Take a look at the example below:
You can see the difference between these two smiles; one feels very genuine, and the other has a cold feeling to it.
You may have heard the saying “Smile with your eyes.” They are referring to a Duchenne Smile.
Example
Meghan Markle’s smile really feels forced, and when we force expressions or feelings, we can tell and distrust it.
Think of a time you invited someone to a party and they said, “Great! That’s amazing, I love parties, I cannot wait to go!” It feels too forced, and we think, “Well, are you actually excited, or are you just saying you are?”
Over-polished Speech
It may be expected for members of the royal family to prepare speeches or know the questions before an interview. However, the Duchess of Sussex goes to the point where we feel like we are being performed to, rather than having a genuine discussion. This feels false and is picked up on by the listener.
You may have already picked up is the number one killer of your charisma is fakeness; always conduct yourself with authenticity and being genuine.
Researchers Van Zant, A. B., & Berger, J. (2020) found that speeches that are delivered with imperfections such as pauses, filler words, mis spoken sentences, and mistakes come across as more authentic, and the audience sees the speaker to be more trustworthy and relatable.
Meghan Markle’s PR perfect answers and speeches make her feel like she is delivering a performance from a well-written speech rather than an off-the-cuff, honest answer.
Example
The royal Family are known for their eloquent answers, their posed and proper photographs, which can be hard for them to relate to the general public (Us mere mortals). In this example, Prince William is telling us about a time where he got in trouble with the Queen!
The use of the word ‘Bollocking’ is very informal and it turns a very formal interview into a casual chit-chat. This makes him more relatable and, in turn, more likeable. we like people like us.
In comparison, let’s look at one of Meghan’s responses to an interview question:
The power of ‘yet’ answer feels like an inauthentic response, it comes across as preachy and condescending. A more authentic response could be talking about sleepless nights, days when you don’t feel good enough, and struggles of being a first-time mum. It feels like a well-rehearsed answer rather than an authentic insight.
Moral Grandstanding
Now, it can be endearing to fight for a cause; many celebrities have advocated for a particular movement, and it is seen as inspiring. I believe there is a skill in reading the room. For example, if a leader has announced that he has to make redundancies and says that we are ‘all in it together’, it can come across as preachy when he is seen the following week on a jet ski in Monaco. Charismatic people have a great ability to read the room and mirror other people.
Studies have found that “do-gooder derogation” can affect you in social situations. For example, vegetarians see themselves as morally ‘superior’ to meat-eaters, yet how others perceive vegetarians themselves is not quite as positive.
You can see by the results below how individuals who took part in the study would associate extremely negative words with vegetarians, yes, believe that vegetarians see themselves as extremely positively:
Example
During an exclusive magazine interview with ‘The Cut’, Meghan shared an example where a fellow TV colleague compared her to Nelson Mandela.
Highlighted in this example is the quote:
Now, this comparison is not justified as one has married into the royal family, the other fought for equality during apartheid. While the article goes on to say ‘She knows she is no Mandela’ but then continues to describe her as a symbol of ‘good and charitable’ feels like it is in bad taste.
What Do I Think of Meghan Markle’s Charisma
I really want to be objective when it comes to Meghan Markle’s charisma, and not be influenced by media perception or others’ opinions. Based on what I have seen in her interviews and podcasts, she finds it very hard to relate to her audience. This is a huge factor in charisma in celebrities, we love to see A-Listers be down to earth and act like ‘normal’ people. This humanises them, makes them more likeable and charismatic. Meghan really does come across as a walking PR campaign, with very little emotion, empathy or consideration for how she is being perceived. The comparisons to Kate Middleton and Princess Diana are natural to make, but they felt like real people. They would be seen dropping their kids off at school, taking part in sports day, laughing and joking with the public. Meghan Markle’s Charisma is not authentic, its a performance for all to see.
